F.R.I.E.N.D.S

We all know that cheating in a relationship will result in non-repairable damage. But, is there such a thing as cheating when it comes to friendship? There's a saying that say's "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" so would befriending the enemy of your friend, make you just another enemy?

Often times, people would abuse the word friend or best friend. What makes someone your friend? and what would make someone lose that 'earned' title? People can surprise you everyday. Someone who is a friend today, could be a total stranger tomorrow. That's life. What makes them lose that title is cheating. Cheating on your trust, your best interest, the purpose of befriending you and so on. 


In psychology I have studied a theory called "The propinquity effect." It is the basic idea that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends. The more exposure we have to a person, the more we are apt to like them. I started to wonder, does this mean that we are not really friends with our friends because we 'clicked' but because we see them more often or have easier access to them? Personally, I can think of friends whom fit into this theory quite accurately. However, I can also think of friends who completely go against it.  


Just like a relationship, friendship also requires commitment. It is a non-spoken agreement which basically says you will be there for one another and never disappoint or betray one another's trust. You could imagine a priest standing between you and your friend and the same vow of marriage can apply. "Will you love her, comfort her, honor her and keep her, in sickness and in health, and remain loyal to her as long as you both shall live?" "I do." And just like marriage, some friendship don't work out and separation is required.


Someone told me something and I think I agree with her. She said "I think some friends come with an expiration date. Allah puts them in our life for a reason and then you lose them.. You might not see it in the short term and keep wondering about the purpose of their friendship. But there's a reason for everything" 


Truth be told, I am blessed to have real amazing friends in my life. But to be honest, there were some that were not so good, some whom taught me lessons I will never forget and some whom although I am not friends with anymore, I still have great respect for. Most importantly, remember.. Friends help you go through rough times, they don't put you through them and 

trust can take years to build, but only a second to break.

And of course, I was reminded by the TV show FRIENDS and decided to end this post with their theme song. Enjoy :)