حلال عليهم.. حرام على غيرهم

I've said that saying countless times and I've heard it all my life. The exact translation would be "Acceptable for them, Forbidden for others" It is the expressive term when people would do something but then forbid it to others or judge others if they did so. It is contradiction in its truest form. 

If we personally look at our lives, we could see contradictions all the time. What's right and what's wrong is quite ironic at times. We are happy to approve things for ourselves and find justification for our actions but are so quick to disapprove of others, without even any form of consideration. 

A few years ago I stumbled upon a Qatari based forum online which discusses general form's of social issues.. A topic that grabbed my attention was titled something in the lines of "Would you allow your family to go to the cinema?" I bursted out at laughing at the idea of such a topic being seriously discussed but my smile quickly disappeared as I read the replies to the topic. Many men replied with such things as "I'd never allow my sister to go to the cinema, what is the point of TV's at home?" Another suddenly exclaimed "It is Haram (religiously forbidden) for girls to go to the Cinema!" And many other comments. This is just a simple example, one of many I know that expresses people's contradictions. Why would it be okay for them but not others? What makes them the 'exception'? Why are they controlling what's wrong or right?  

I am a strong believer in self-discipline. Of course, family values, education, family, friends and generally how you were raised plays the hugest role. But, there comes a certain point when a person should depend on their self to decide the difference between wrong and right, acceptable or forbidden.. 

Truth be told, the saying is usually said by females. A perfect way to describe the reason why would be another saying.. " الرجال ما يعيبه شي " 

This roughly translates into: A man cannot be flawed or faulted by anything.

It makes me wonder, to what point is this saying true? Does it really not matter what wrong doings he does because in the end he is a man and it makes it okay? On the other hand, we have how women are perceived.. As beautiful, clear glass, a simple scratch would ruin it's 'clarity' forever.  

I think the best response to such ideals and sayings would be god's words from the Holy Quran when it stated " 

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ

O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).

We are all in the end both human and it does not matter which gender, tribe, nation you are from. You are judged by your righteous acts and right doings. that is all. 

That is so 'gay' !

It was three years ago, my sister and I were in the MAC cosmetic store in City Centre and we were looking at the new collection of eye shadows, lipsticks, foundations and bronzers. We were swimming in a sea of makeup and loving the swim!


The store wasn't filled, it was just us and another girl. The man working in the store has become familiar with our faces, we were proud regulars. We rummaged through the products when we noticed a peculiar scene. A quite handsome man in a thobe stood by the door of the store and waved at the salesperson. The salesperson responded by walking to the cashier desk, taking a mac bag filled with makeup and giving him the bag. The man gave him money and chatted with the salesperson for a while and left.
We were surprised by what had happened in front of us.

After seeing that scene, the man walked away into the busy corridors of the mall and the salesperson came back to help us. My sister and I couldn't help but ask about what we just saw and when the very feminine (to say the least) salesperson replied he said "he's a friend of mine, too shy to buy makeup so publicly!" He went on shocking us by saying "he's one of hundreds. Most of our sales come from males."

The issue of homosexuality at times could be 'medical' but most times it's just psychological. The reasons are countless, it could be that the man was raised by women and had no male role model around him or was abused as a child, the list goes on.. However, no one can deny that in recent years the number of homosexuals has increased drastically and sadly to say in both sexes, men and women. It saddens me to see how some people 'accept' the idea of homosexuality between the two genders. In terms of females, society has accepted 'lesbians' with open arms. "A party is not complete without it's set of 'lesbians' " a friend commented once.  They are everywhere; schools, parties, malls, universities. They are our friends, friends of friends, relatives and so on. And most of these homosexuals, men and women, are married.




...And last summer in vacation I went to a MAC store (of course!) and I saw the very same salesperson. He recognized me at once and we chatted for a while. He said he missed Qatar like crazy and that he had so many Qatari boyfriends and they were so nice to him. They spoiled him he said. After those words, I just smiled and said that it was getting late and I had to go. I didn't seem that uncomfortable to him, but I truly was. He seemed so confident with his homosexuality. While, each word he said made me more disgusted by that segment of our society. They spoiled him? boyfriend(s) with an s? How many boyfriend were there?


This is just one story out of hundreds that I have either seen or heard. Most are not appropriate enough to even publish! And as the years continue I see the problem growing more and more and people are just simply accepting it. What do you guys think, what are some solutions for such a problem?

Who am I, really?

“fasten your seatbelts…”

I’ve always loved going to the airport. I loved every part of that experience, from checking in your luggage to boarding the flight. Although many people I know avoid airports because they hate flying, I found it exciting. I usually sit somewhere where I could see the most amounts of people and enjoy the diversity. You would see people from all around the world, all in one hall. Thousands of people are walking, chatting with one another and hurrying to their assigned gate. People from France would be sitting next to those from China, kids from Italy playing with those from Egypt. It would be interesting, looking at the faces of these very different people, each face with a different story to tell; and I always wondered, “What would my story be? What makes me different from all the rest?”  Often my mind would go completely blank. I didn’t find myself that interesting as I didn’t have a diverse background, I didn’t survive a natural disaster and I haven’t even witnessed something worth mentioning. 

One night, upon arriving to our destination, I gazed at the sea of strangers around me. My mind began to wonder and I was lost in my own thoughts forgetting where I was and the reason I was there. But, my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the voice of my father telling me it was time to go.  We arrived to the hotel late at night. The lobby was practically empty with just one table of people who were with us on the same flight. We checked in, unpacked and slept.

The next morning, the hotel lobby was completely packed with Arabs. I turned to face my sister and saw her equally shocked at the transformation. “Are you sure we left Doha?” she said with her usual sarcastic tone.  We went to a near by coffee shop and chatted until it was time to meet up with our friends at the park. Here we go again. I was getting sucked into the same routine again.

On the seventeenth day and as the trip approached its end, I started to really miss Qatar.  I especially missed having my own room as the day started with an argument with my sister. I decided to go have coffee and relax before meeting up with my friends. While I was sipping on my café latte, a woman asked if the seat next to me was taken and once I shook my head, she placed her belongings on the table and sat. We started chatting about the weather, a usual conversation starter. Then it progressed to nationality and where the other lives. Once she knew I was from the Gulf region, she had seemed more eager to ask questions and was more interested in what I had to say. After our chat, she seemed surprised and asked me out of the blue “You seem very opinionated for a woman who comes from the gulf, isn’t that, err.. not allowed?” I was quite surprised at her question. Is this our image to people outside of the gulf? Do people still have misconceptions about how we are treated and our worth?  Is that what she see’s when she looks at me?

I smiled at her and tried to clear the false image she had of our lives. We have all the same rights as men and the same opportunities. I absolutely hated the stereotype people in the western world had of Arab women. We are not ‘weak, obedient and quiet wives’. We do not only care about superficial and meaningless objects. Each person is an individual with their own thoughts and beliefs. What makes us different from them?

I hated being grouped as part of a stereotype.  I tried to understand her point of view and continued the conversation.  “Isn’t the woman’s job to stay at home and take care of her children?” she asked so presumably.  I thought for a second of the best way to answer such a question. “Well it depends, here do women sometimes stay at home and take care of their children?” She nodded. “And do some women work?” She nodded again. “So why is it considered a personal choice here and inequality where I come from?” she kept quiet. I knew I had made a good point. It is up to the woman if she wanted to work or not. “Personally” I continued “I can’t wait to graduate from university and work. I want to prove myself and do something with my life, I want to be recognized as a hard worker and respected by those around me, you know?” and as she continued about what she does for a living, I finally got it. I don’t have a story to tell yet, but I’m getting there.  All that I do now is just a build up of my prospective future, inshallah. I will make something of myself; I will not have a story to tell, but stories. This woman’s ignorance about women in my country did not disappoint me, but made me determined. I will prove myself. Not only to that woman, but to everyone.

Everyone wants to be someone. Someone special. But, what defines you? It could be your job, race, origin, education or anything. But the most important matter is that you have a purpose and you should always strive for more.  I arrived at Doha’s international airport glad that the trip was over and that I learnt something valuable. It is quite interesting how a conversation with a stranger would teach you more about yourself. And I realized, I was no longer one of those people who sat and watched people live their lives. I was living mine. Each step taken, a step closer to my goal.

- I wrote this for my writer's craft class in University. Thought it was worth showing xx

Regrets..? I've had a few..

We all live with some regret or another.. 


That hair cut that seemed great at the time, that comment which ended up being more 'rude' and not so funny.. And then there are those larger regrets. Life changing regrets. Regrets that would keep you thinking again and again. You keep re-playing the scenes, the words, the faces in your mind again and again.. 


Did you ever regret meeting someone? Did you ever regret saying those harsh words to someone? Did you ever regret losing someone? 


Many people would say that they wouldn't regret anything that happened in the past because it made them who they are today. Those scars, those tears, those fights shaped them into the person they are today. 


In the insatiable words of Frank Sinatra 


"Regrets? I've had a few, 
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption. "

It's one of my favorite Sinatra songs.. His voice is just so deep and soulful. 

The only advice I'd give is to tell the people you love, how much you really do love them. Hold on to the people you love and let go of the hateful times and stop being bitter. 


Personally; I keep regretting embarrassing stuff I say or do and my oh my is that a long list of things :p. One way for me to do so is to talk about it and simply laugh at my mistakes. I'll give you some funny examples: 


I once went up to a concierge in a hotel and thought it would be fun to practice my french so I asked her about the weather. She didn't understand my (amazing) accent. I was quite embarrassed so I asked her "Umm, Will it rain today?" and she said yes and then there was this awkward moment where I didn't leave so she was expecting me to ask another question and make use of her knowledge. I went BLANK and asked her "So yeah..What time will it rain?" she stared at me for a moment and then bursted out laughing and kept telling everyone else what I just asked her. And then she looked at me and said "Honey, only he knows" and pointed up i.e. god :p 


Another time, I wanted to practice my spanish with a woman working in a store. However, I ended up asking her if she wanted to be my girlfriend! LOOL! 


Point of those two moments: Don't speak foreign languages EVER! lol. 


I asked people what they thought regret was and these are some replies: 


Alya- when u eat 2 much w t7sen jna btzo3en :P 


Haifa- To do something u wish u didn't. Always think twice because you might regret it later.


Nasser - It's missing an opportunity to tell someone how you really feel.  


Shooshi - You underestimated something, but you went for it then you learnt your lesson. It's something you wouldn't do again after experiencing it. 


Omnia- It's when u naively think you could've done something different or better but you didn't because you did something else that you thought was different or better at the time. And, it didn't work out. 


Saleh- When you see the end of the road half way through, and it's less then u expected. Or, when you see someone taking a road you were thinking off and got a better result. 


Mimi- When you do something you wish that time would go back and you would get a chance to do it all over again. 


Amal- Regret is the feeling you get that you feel it squeeze your heart from pain. It makes you think of the same issue over and over it's disappointment and heartburn. And most of all, when you ask yourself "WHY?"


Last but not least, my mom :p - Its a feeling when you do something wrong. You keep thinking "I wish I didn't do that." Sometimes, its also about an opportunity that you regretfully missed. 




Have a nice day and I hope for you a regret-free weekend! :* 


Tc
xx

A quote I liked..

"People who hate you are just your confused admirers. They can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you." 






.

My Near Death Experience..

It was our last day in New York City. Our month long summer trip was amazing with all the beautiful attractions, restaurants, shopping and people we've seen. And it was coming to an end. It was raining and so my mother and I decided to do some last minute shopping in bloomingdale's . My hands were getting numb from all the bags I was carrying and was happy for my father's phone call telling us we have plans for tonight. "We're on our way, were picking you up in a long black stretch limo!" he said. 


We left the building and were waiting at the corner of the block for the limo to arrive. I was excited, it was a 'cliche' in every NY movie scene. You had to ride a stretch limo in NY! And when the car arrived, the limo driver opened the door and there was my brother's, father and cousins all cramped up in that Limo. We cruised the rainy streets of NYC, playing loud music, reminiscing and laughing at the unforgettable memories of the trip. 


After the end of the two hour ride, we have reached our destination, the hotel. We were too excited and didn't want the 'last day' to ever end. As we left the limo we saw a beautiful white horse carriage by the corner and we waved at the carriage driver that we wanted him to come to us. However, when he was about to come over, a couple of people stopped him and took the ride instead. We were annoyed and he could see that so he waved at us to wait for him by the same corner. 


We obeyingly waited for the man by his corner. "Aaaaah!" one of the girls screeched. It was a rat. Actually, not one but MANY. The streets of New York were filled with garbage, a stinching smell and yes... those little rodents. We've waited for a while but it seemed like the man was no where to be seen so we've decided to go back to the hotel. 


While we were walking back, we saw him from a distant. The beautiful white carriage filled with fresh roses and the man smartly dressed steering the carriage towards us. So, we decided to start walking towards the carriage and the man was coming towards us. Suddenly, within a blink of an eye, a Taxi cab appeared out of nowhere and hit the carriage from the back. The people inside the carriage suddenly were thrown into the busy new york street and the flowers that were so beautifully placed in that carriage were now destroyed by passing cars. 


The carriage seemed to have fallen onto the horse and part of his body was not able to move because of the heaviness of the carriage. He tried getting up several times but failed to do so. And the people that were thrown into the street, one by one they got up and ran towards the pavement in fear of the passing cars and the frustrated horse. 


However, one person did not get up. His head hit the concrete so strongly that we heard the bang. Blood started to appear all underneath him and people started to hover around him asking him "are you okay?" but sadly, with no response from him. It was the carriage driver. The same carriage driver that just a few minutes ago told us to wait and that he would be right back. The same carriage driver that we were supposed to have had the carriage ride with. That was supposed to be us. The people that were thrown into the street with such harshness was supposed to be us. Maybe, if he wasn't in such a hurry to reach us, none of this would have happened. 


All that happened in a split second. We froze in our place for what seemed like forever. I couldn't speak a word, I realized I was standing there with my eyes wide open and my hand on my chest and could hear my heart beating so fast. 


That night I couldn't sleep at all. I woke up early in the morning and went with my father to the same street. I found it so strange, people moved on. It seemed like nothing happened. The blood on the street was cleaned and the carriage was removed and the other carriage drivers kept on working. How can a life be so insignificant? Is that the reality? No one cared if he was alive or not? And then I started wondering, what if it was me yesterday instead of him? 


I went and asked the other carriage drivers if they knew anything about this mysterious carriage driver and a couple of them asked what had happened as they simply didn't know. I told them the exact scene I saw yesterday and they told me he was in a comma and they don't know if he's going to survive or not. 

My favorite songs lately..

Here a few songs I love listening to.. Some you might know, some you might not.. 

Rolling in the deep - Adele

"The scars of your love remind you of us, they keep me thinking that we almost had it all.

The scars of your love, they leave me breathless, I can help feeling.. we could have had it all"

Warwick Avenue - Duffy

"I’m leaving you for the last time baby. You think you're loving, but you don’t love me. 

And I’ve been confused outta my mind lately.. You think you’re loving, But I want to be free, baby you’ve hurt me."

Broken Angel - Arash

Sweet dreams - Beyonce

"You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare.
Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you. Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your loves to good to be true."

White horse - Taylor swift

"I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale. I'm not the one to sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell. This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town, I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around." 

Louboutins?

When you think of a 'typical' Khaleeji woman, one of the things that pops up is her large collection of louboutins. right? 

My question is.. why? 
I mean these shoes are extremely uncomfortable and to be honest there's nothing 'special' about their appearance either. I feel like people are just buying them for the sake of showing off those red-soles! 


Madonna said it herself "You know we live in a material world, and I am material girl" but girls, stop taking it to heart! I'm sick of people loving objects instead of people.. And that's not to say that I don't fall into some stereotypes with the things I own. But, I will only purchase something because I like it not because everyone's buying it! 


The reason why I have a certain issue with louboutins is because that was the one time I gave in and I thought 'Everyone has one! I have to buy it" and to be honest it was one of the worst purchases ever. Those shoes HURT! I'm definitely sure Mr. Louboutin has unresolved issues with women's toes! :p 


I mean... there are SO many shoes that are prettier but never become as popular as those loubs! and my questions remains... Why? 


Here are a couple of pictures of shoes I find HOT! ;-) 

Albert Guardiani lipstick heels

Miu Miu Heels

YSL wedges

Introduction?

Hi everyone (and by everyone, I'm assuming someone out there, in the mystical internet world, cares and is reading this! haha! )


I've decided to start a blog, partly because I usually have an opinion about pretty much everything and partly because I am currently unemployed and in need of some sort of activity to keep me busy. 


I haven't decided what this blog is going to be about but pretty much about anything that comes to mind. Let's just hope it will be entertaining.