"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength"

I have always feared hurting someone unknowingly. A certain word or action that I have done could have scarred or hurt someone around me. I like those whom are opinionated and speak out on what they believe in. However, there comes a point when their words turn to weapons and hurt people. There should always be respect for other's around you and one should always think before they speak. Some people throw judgement bombs and act above everyone and would never stop to think that people are the way they are because of certain events and individuals in their lives. Someone could be cold and distant because they've been hurt by those they loved. Another person could be extremely social and traveling all year round because they simply hate coming back home to where things are always sad and gloomy. 


The point is, don't be too quick to judge. 


Sometimes people can be so hurtful. A women once told me a story that I believe is a perfect example of how people's words can hurt. She was dieting all her life to be thin and then once she got pregnant she (naturally) gained weight. She told me how shocked she was with people's harshness. Someone would tell her "I didn't recognize you because of how fat you became!" and another would see her shopping in a store and would tell her "Why are you here? I think you should be in the plus size section." My question is: Why? Why are people unkind? Why do they enjoy throwing those negative remarks around?    I simply go by the saying that say's "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!" 


Another story that reminded of people's rudeness was of a young girl at the age of fifteen. She was self conscious and was struggling in term's of being confident. A girl in her class simply threw a remark and walked away, but the girl (years later) never forgot it. She told her "How come you didn't turn out pretty like the rest of your family?" These examples are just a few from many that any individual can personally relate to when thinking of disrespectful individuals and harmful words. It is not just when it comes to personal appearance but anything from personality, education, lifestyle and so on. People are harsh when it comes to anything.  


The point is, be kind. 

خواطر

 التـوبـه" - كلمه دائما تجذبني بقوتها ... ما هي التوبه؟" 

التوبه هي الرجوع الى صراط الله المستقيم.. عندما يلاحظ شخص ما عيبا آو خطآ في نمط حياته آو آسلوبه و يقرر آن لا يكرره مرة آخرى

التوبه قد تكون لآمور غير دينيه آيضا .. من الممكن اتخاذ قرار بآن تآكل آكلات صحيه و آن لا تآكل الوجبات السريعه آو بآن تقف عن التدخين آو غيره من آلامور

ليس هناك شخص خالي من الآخطاء آو العيوب.. و لكن ما آجمل آن يلاحظ الشخص تلك العيوب و لا يكررها بعد ذلك 

من آجل آن تتوب فعليك باتخاذ القرار للاقلاع و بعد ذلك العزم في الالتزام

آسماء الله الحسنى تدل على صفات الله الجميله.. منهم الغفور و الرحيم .. فعلا الله يغفر لنا و يرحمنا و يحب عباده. .. يستقبل توباتنا في آي وقت .. اذا اخطآنا مره آو مرتين آو ثلاثه فالله دائما مع عباده و يتقبل توباتنا

لقد شاهدت برنامج ديني بعنوان "التوبه الى الله" و من خلال كلام الشيخ.. جمله شدتني بقوه 

قال : مشكلة عصرنا اليوم ان الناس يذنبون و يخطؤون و ينسوا شيء آساسي و هو التوبه.. و البعض يتوب باللسان و ليس بالقلب

نلهو برفاهيات الدنيا و ننسى بآن الدنيا مجرد اختبار من الله سبحانه و تعالى.. من نجح  ثوابه الجنه باذن الله و من خسر  يشعر بمرارة اختياراته  و الندم و مصيره عذاب النار 

الموت لا يترك آحدا .. غني آو فقير آو كبير آو صغير .. لا نعرف متى يكتب لنا الموت فآدعي ربي آن يرزقني و يرزقكم بحسن الخاتمه

 فهذه المدونه تذكار لي و لكم بان علينا ان ننسى متعة الدنيا و نعمل لآخرتنا و يوم الحساب 

تخيل بآن يوم البعث قد وصل .. آو يومك على وشك الوصول.. فهل لديك حسنات كافيه لدخول الجنه ؟ هل تبت من ذنوبك و آخطاءك؟  هل تلك الرفاهيات السطحيه ستنفعك عندما تتحاسب عند الله سبحانه و تعالى؟  

آنهي هذي المدونه بكلام الله سبحانه و تعالى.. فلا يوجد آجمل من كلامه 

"يا أيها الذين أمنوا توبوا إلى الله توبة نصوحا عسى ربكم أن يكفر عنكم سيئاتكم ويدخلكم جنات تجرى من تحتها الأنهار "  

اللهم اجعل الجنة مثوانا وقنا عذاب النار

*Note: I have always been bilingual (spoke English and Arabic) and therefore my Arabic (unfortunately) is  slightly weak.. so please excuse the simplicity of my words.. I'm trying :p 

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

We all know that cheating in a relationship will result in non-repairable damage. But, is there such a thing as cheating when it comes to friendship? There's a saying that say's "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" so would befriending the enemy of your friend, make you just another enemy?

Often times, people would abuse the word friend or best friend. What makes someone your friend? and what would make someone lose that 'earned' title? People can surprise you everyday. Someone who is a friend today, could be a total stranger tomorrow. That's life. What makes them lose that title is cheating. Cheating on your trust, your best interest, the purpose of befriending you and so on. 


In psychology I have studied a theory called "The propinquity effect." It is the basic idea that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends. The more exposure we have to a person, the more we are apt to like them. I started to wonder, does this mean that we are not really friends with our friends because we 'clicked' but because we see them more often or have easier access to them? Personally, I can think of friends whom fit into this theory quite accurately. However, I can also think of friends who completely go against it.  


Just like a relationship, friendship also requires commitment. It is a non-spoken agreement which basically says you will be there for one another and never disappoint or betray one another's trust. You could imagine a priest standing between you and your friend and the same vow of marriage can apply. "Will you love her, comfort her, honor her and keep her, in sickness and in health, and remain loyal to her as long as you both shall live?" "I do." And just like marriage, some friendship don't work out and separation is required.


Someone told me something and I think I agree with her. She said "I think some friends come with an expiration date. Allah puts them in our life for a reason and then you lose them.. You might not see it in the short term and keep wondering about the purpose of their friendship. But there's a reason for everything" 


Truth be told, I am blessed to have real amazing friends in my life. But to be honest, there were some that were not so good, some whom taught me lessons I will never forget and some whom although I am not friends with anymore, I still have great respect for. Most importantly, remember.. Friends help you go through rough times, they don't put you through them and 

trust can take years to build, but only a second to break.

And of course, I was reminded by the TV show FRIENDS and decided to end this post with their theme song. Enjoy :) 

انا لله وانا اليه راجعون

"Beautiful Necklace" my mother said. I smiled and looked down at the gold embellished necklace. "It was a graduation gift from Himyan" I replied. My mother let out a sigh and said "Allah Yer7amha (May she rest in peace)." 


Certain people could only be described as angelic. Their sweetness, kindness and sincerity would just overcome you once you meet them. In a world where deception and envy is common, it is rare to find those angelic human beings. I was lucky to not only meet such a person, but to also have the honor to be related to her. My cousin Himyan was just that.. an angel. 


She was caring, generous and beyond sweet. Every time I would see her, she would welcome me with her smile and loving words. Himyan was filled with optimism and faith. She had been battling cancer for years and sadly, we had lost her to it. Even in her darkest days when she would be aching with pain, she was selfless. She never forgot a special occasion, she would give and give and never expect anything in return. 


I remember the countless visits to my Aunt's house when we were kids. My brother and I loved visiting and one of the reasons was her daughter, Himyan. She would take us by our hands and sneak us into our Aunt's room. She'd fill our pockets up with sweets and tell us not to tell our parents. She would joke with the young and care for the old. Not a single person would she leave out. She was friendly to all. 


I am reminded with the saying of Mohammed (PBUH) that states: 


قال صلى الله عليه وسلم: 
إن عظم الجزاء مع عظم البلاء، وإن الله تعالى إذا أحب قوما ابتلاهم فمن رضي فله الرضا، ومن سخط فعليه السخط. رواه الترمذي .


I couldn't find a direct translation but the basic idea is that if god loved a person he would afflict them with troubles or problems. In that way, it would be a true test of acceptance for god's will and a test of their faith. The worse the problem is, the larger the reward.  


(Note: I am in no way qualified to translate this, but I thought it would be nice for those who did not read or understand arabic to know the overall meaning. If I have interpreted it wrong, please do forgive me) 


Himyan, our angel, had passed away but her memory will remain engraved in our hearts forever. May she rest in peace and god bless her soul. 


رحلتي من الدنيا و لكن لن ترحلي من قلوبنا 

I Stand Alone.

" She screamed, only her echo would she hear back.
She cried, but no one wiped away her tears.

She was surrounded by people, but was all alone. 

Trapped in a vicious cycle, no one understood her.

She wanted to say she was hurting and why her eyes were never dry. 
But in the end, she stands alone. "

حلال عليهم.. حرام على غيرهم

I've said that saying countless times and I've heard it all my life. The exact translation would be "Acceptable for them, Forbidden for others" It is the expressive term when people would do something but then forbid it to others or judge others if they did so. It is contradiction in its truest form. 

If we personally look at our lives, we could see contradictions all the time. What's right and what's wrong is quite ironic at times. We are happy to approve things for ourselves and find justification for our actions but are so quick to disapprove of others, without even any form of consideration. 

A few years ago I stumbled upon a Qatari based forum online which discusses general form's of social issues.. A topic that grabbed my attention was titled something in the lines of "Would you allow your family to go to the cinema?" I bursted out at laughing at the idea of such a topic being seriously discussed but my smile quickly disappeared as I read the replies to the topic. Many men replied with such things as "I'd never allow my sister to go to the cinema, what is the point of TV's at home?" Another suddenly exclaimed "It is Haram (religiously forbidden) for girls to go to the Cinema!" And many other comments. This is just a simple example, one of many I know that expresses people's contradictions. Why would it be okay for them but not others? What makes them the 'exception'? Why are they controlling what's wrong or right?  

I am a strong believer in self-discipline. Of course, family values, education, family, friends and generally how you were raised plays the hugest role. But, there comes a certain point when a person should depend on their self to decide the difference between wrong and right, acceptable or forbidden.. 

Truth be told, the saying is usually said by females. A perfect way to describe the reason why would be another saying.. " الرجال ما يعيبه شي " 

This roughly translates into: A man cannot be flawed or faulted by anything.

It makes me wonder, to what point is this saying true? Does it really not matter what wrong doings he does because in the end he is a man and it makes it okay? On the other hand, we have how women are perceived.. As beautiful, clear glass, a simple scratch would ruin it's 'clarity' forever.  

I think the best response to such ideals and sayings would be god's words from the Holy Quran when it stated " 

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَاكُمْ مِنْ ذَكَرٍ وَأُنثَى وَجَعَلْنَاكُمْ شُعُوبًا وَقَبَائِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوا إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَتْقَاكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌ

O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).

We are all in the end both human and it does not matter which gender, tribe, nation you are from. You are judged by your righteous acts and right doings. that is all. 

That is so 'gay' !

It was three years ago, my sister and I were in the MAC cosmetic store in City Centre and we were looking at the new collection of eye shadows, lipsticks, foundations and bronzers. We were swimming in a sea of makeup and loving the swim!


The store wasn't filled, it was just us and another girl. The man working in the store has become familiar with our faces, we were proud regulars. We rummaged through the products when we noticed a peculiar scene. A quite handsome man in a thobe stood by the door of the store and waved at the salesperson. The salesperson responded by walking to the cashier desk, taking a mac bag filled with makeup and giving him the bag. The man gave him money and chatted with the salesperson for a while and left.
We were surprised by what had happened in front of us.

After seeing that scene, the man walked away into the busy corridors of the mall and the salesperson came back to help us. My sister and I couldn't help but ask about what we just saw and when the very feminine (to say the least) salesperson replied he said "he's a friend of mine, too shy to buy makeup so publicly!" He went on shocking us by saying "he's one of hundreds. Most of our sales come from males."

The issue of homosexuality at times could be 'medical' but most times it's just psychological. The reasons are countless, it could be that the man was raised by women and had no male role model around him or was abused as a child, the list goes on.. However, no one can deny that in recent years the number of homosexuals has increased drastically and sadly to say in both sexes, men and women. It saddens me to see how some people 'accept' the idea of homosexuality between the two genders. In terms of females, society has accepted 'lesbians' with open arms. "A party is not complete without it's set of 'lesbians' " a friend commented once.  They are everywhere; schools, parties, malls, universities. They are our friends, friends of friends, relatives and so on. And most of these homosexuals, men and women, are married.




...And last summer in vacation I went to a MAC store (of course!) and I saw the very same salesperson. He recognized me at once and we chatted for a while. He said he missed Qatar like crazy and that he had so many Qatari boyfriends and they were so nice to him. They spoiled him he said. After those words, I just smiled and said that it was getting late and I had to go. I didn't seem that uncomfortable to him, but I truly was. He seemed so confident with his homosexuality. While, each word he said made me more disgusted by that segment of our society. They spoiled him? boyfriend(s) with an s? How many boyfriend were there?


This is just one story out of hundreds that I have either seen or heard. Most are not appropriate enough to even publish! And as the years continue I see the problem growing more and more and people are just simply accepting it. What do you guys think, what are some solutions for such a problem?

Who am I, really?

“fasten your seatbelts…”

I’ve always loved going to the airport. I loved every part of that experience, from checking in your luggage to boarding the flight. Although many people I know avoid airports because they hate flying, I found it exciting. I usually sit somewhere where I could see the most amounts of people and enjoy the diversity. You would see people from all around the world, all in one hall. Thousands of people are walking, chatting with one another and hurrying to their assigned gate. People from France would be sitting next to those from China, kids from Italy playing with those from Egypt. It would be interesting, looking at the faces of these very different people, each face with a different story to tell; and I always wondered, “What would my story be? What makes me different from all the rest?”  Often my mind would go completely blank. I didn’t find myself that interesting as I didn’t have a diverse background, I didn’t survive a natural disaster and I haven’t even witnessed something worth mentioning. 

One night, upon arriving to our destination, I gazed at the sea of strangers around me. My mind began to wonder and I was lost in my own thoughts forgetting where I was and the reason I was there. But, my thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the voice of my father telling me it was time to go.  We arrived to the hotel late at night. The lobby was practically empty with just one table of people who were with us on the same flight. We checked in, unpacked and slept.

The next morning, the hotel lobby was completely packed with Arabs. I turned to face my sister and saw her equally shocked at the transformation. “Are you sure we left Doha?” she said with her usual sarcastic tone.  We went to a near by coffee shop and chatted until it was time to meet up with our friends at the park. Here we go again. I was getting sucked into the same routine again.

On the seventeenth day and as the trip approached its end, I started to really miss Qatar.  I especially missed having my own room as the day started with an argument with my sister. I decided to go have coffee and relax before meeting up with my friends. While I was sipping on my café latte, a woman asked if the seat next to me was taken and once I shook my head, she placed her belongings on the table and sat. We started chatting about the weather, a usual conversation starter. Then it progressed to nationality and where the other lives. Once she knew I was from the Gulf region, she had seemed more eager to ask questions and was more interested in what I had to say. After our chat, she seemed surprised and asked me out of the blue “You seem very opinionated for a woman who comes from the gulf, isn’t that, err.. not allowed?” I was quite surprised at her question. Is this our image to people outside of the gulf? Do people still have misconceptions about how we are treated and our worth?  Is that what she see’s when she looks at me?

I smiled at her and tried to clear the false image she had of our lives. We have all the same rights as men and the same opportunities. I absolutely hated the stereotype people in the western world had of Arab women. We are not ‘weak, obedient and quiet wives’. We do not only care about superficial and meaningless objects. Each person is an individual with their own thoughts and beliefs. What makes us different from them?

I hated being grouped as part of a stereotype.  I tried to understand her point of view and continued the conversation.  “Isn’t the woman’s job to stay at home and take care of her children?” she asked so presumably.  I thought for a second of the best way to answer such a question. “Well it depends, here do women sometimes stay at home and take care of their children?” She nodded. “And do some women work?” She nodded again. “So why is it considered a personal choice here and inequality where I come from?” she kept quiet. I knew I had made a good point. It is up to the woman if she wanted to work or not. “Personally” I continued “I can’t wait to graduate from university and work. I want to prove myself and do something with my life, I want to be recognized as a hard worker and respected by those around me, you know?” and as she continued about what she does for a living, I finally got it. I don’t have a story to tell yet, but I’m getting there.  All that I do now is just a build up of my prospective future, inshallah. I will make something of myself; I will not have a story to tell, but stories. This woman’s ignorance about women in my country did not disappoint me, but made me determined. I will prove myself. Not only to that woman, but to everyone.

Everyone wants to be someone. Someone special. But, what defines you? It could be your job, race, origin, education or anything. But the most important matter is that you have a purpose and you should always strive for more.  I arrived at Doha’s international airport glad that the trip was over and that I learnt something valuable. It is quite interesting how a conversation with a stranger would teach you more about yourself. And I realized, I was no longer one of those people who sat and watched people live their lives. I was living mine. Each step taken, a step closer to my goal.

- I wrote this for my writer's craft class in University. Thought it was worth showing xx

Regrets..? I've had a few..

We all live with some regret or another.. 


That hair cut that seemed great at the time, that comment which ended up being more 'rude' and not so funny.. And then there are those larger regrets. Life changing regrets. Regrets that would keep you thinking again and again. You keep re-playing the scenes, the words, the faces in your mind again and again.. 


Did you ever regret meeting someone? Did you ever regret saying those harsh words to someone? Did you ever regret losing someone? 


Many people would say that they wouldn't regret anything that happened in the past because it made them who they are today. Those scars, those tears, those fights shaped them into the person they are today. 


In the insatiable words of Frank Sinatra 


"Regrets? I've had a few, 
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption. "

It's one of my favorite Sinatra songs.. His voice is just so deep and soulful. 

The only advice I'd give is to tell the people you love, how much you really do love them. Hold on to the people you love and let go of the hateful times and stop being bitter. 


Personally; I keep regretting embarrassing stuff I say or do and my oh my is that a long list of things :p. One way for me to do so is to talk about it and simply laugh at my mistakes. I'll give you some funny examples: 


I once went up to a concierge in a hotel and thought it would be fun to practice my french so I asked her about the weather. She didn't understand my (amazing) accent. I was quite embarrassed so I asked her "Umm, Will it rain today?" and she said yes and then there was this awkward moment where I didn't leave so she was expecting me to ask another question and make use of her knowledge. I went BLANK and asked her "So yeah..What time will it rain?" she stared at me for a moment and then bursted out laughing and kept telling everyone else what I just asked her. And then she looked at me and said "Honey, only he knows" and pointed up i.e. god :p 


Another time, I wanted to practice my spanish with a woman working in a store. However, I ended up asking her if she wanted to be my girlfriend! LOOL! 


Point of those two moments: Don't speak foreign languages EVER! lol. 


I asked people what they thought regret was and these are some replies: 


Alya- when u eat 2 much w t7sen jna btzo3en :P 


Haifa- To do something u wish u didn't. Always think twice because you might regret it later.


Nasser - It's missing an opportunity to tell someone how you really feel.  


Shooshi - You underestimated something, but you went for it then you learnt your lesson. It's something you wouldn't do again after experiencing it. 


Omnia- It's when u naively think you could've done something different or better but you didn't because you did something else that you thought was different or better at the time. And, it didn't work out. 


Saleh- When you see the end of the road half way through, and it's less then u expected. Or, when you see someone taking a road you were thinking off and got a better result. 


Mimi- When you do something you wish that time would go back and you would get a chance to do it all over again. 


Amal- Regret is the feeling you get that you feel it squeeze your heart from pain. It makes you think of the same issue over and over it's disappointment and heartburn. And most of all, when you ask yourself "WHY?"


Last but not least, my mom :p - Its a feeling when you do something wrong. You keep thinking "I wish I didn't do that." Sometimes, its also about an opportunity that you regretfully missed. 




Have a nice day and I hope for you a regret-free weekend! :* 


Tc
xx

A quote I liked..

"People who hate you are just your confused admirers. They can't figure out the reason why everyone loves you." 






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